I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
