he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
