Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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