Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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