talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
