Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
