I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
