so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
