I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
