dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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