His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
