I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
