hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
