her vagine was all disorganized.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ttyl tear gas
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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