That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
