Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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