Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
