You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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