The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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