is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
