So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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