why didn't you poke me back
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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