hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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