i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize