You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you traded sex for a burrito?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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