So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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