Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
