well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
