Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
