WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
