My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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