Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
