how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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