If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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