clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The air was thick with penises
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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