The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
