He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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