Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
