You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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