Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
