Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
