Non-Jews are for practice
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
