I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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