We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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