her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
