Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize