is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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