Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
