honey bunches of taint.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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