dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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