Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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