the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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