hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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