So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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