so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
