Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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