is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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