Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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