Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
