My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
