What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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