Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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