After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
