It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
