Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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