i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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